I had an argument, in an elated state
Few years back, with someone who understood
The idea, but not through my eyes, a distorted palate,
Here I am again, watching, standing on what I believe.

This movie, a rebellion from mundane existence,
Far moved thoughts, than Matrix ever has.
Absolute resignation the key, to rise, to see,
An aghori created within,
To know, to discern Liberation.
Here’s another master piece, misunderstood.

This is another reason why I watch as many movies as I do and read as many fiction/poetry as I can get my hands on. May be I’m still searching for that affirmation for what I think I know…

This is a pure rant and thoughts that came across based on a mundane incident.

Today I met a guy at a grocery store and passed “hello” casually while buying the milk I had in my hand. I noticed the guy talking to his friend on his phone and realized he was talking Bengali. Even if he looked a little middle-eastern/Indian, I wasn’t sure initially about his origin but after hearing him speak, it was clear that he was from India. And so while I was paying my bill, I casually asked the guy if he was from Bengal and saw a grin in his face. His answer was “Are you from India ?” and so I happily said “Tamilnadu”. He replied again “I’m from Bangladesh” with a serious stare, without blinking, his grin vanishing and still cold. All I could muster was “OK” and walked away. Looking back, an incidental encounter like that should not affect me but it was still disturbing.

Why ? I ponder. Did he have to break off the conversation because I was from India ? May be he suffered in the hands of some random Indians, amongst the billion of us. Or he just hates Indians. And more specifically south Indians. Either way, I do not care. But it pains me to think how all of us, humans in general, hate each other so much and create segregations based on race, religion, land, ethnicity, faith and even ideas that we often forget the beauty of the divine unity.

Sometimes I think, the only way to bring people together is to create this all powerful ‘Alien’, a devil, that oppresses every human, immaterial of the origin or belief, all the same. Then, the hatred can be channeled on this one source and unite us as the earth race. And that is the first step to reaching universal singularity. I hope that will happen eventually because this attitude we carry is self destructive and cannot last long and will not let us live in peace. It is probably the nature of our species and a higher evolution might change the perspective. Or so I hope.

I diverged from couple of steps to light years on this post but my thoughts, hopefully come across clear. May be it is time for me to get a smart phone to type this up as when I get the thoughts rather than remembering what I came across couple of hours before.

Like always, searching through the archives, I stumbled upon an old post over at Crackled. And the reason hence, for this post …

What is interesting about the article is that, personally, I’ve been naive enough to assume every one of those 5 fallacies at one point or another. Every time, I think I’ve learnt and think that I can’t make the same mistakes again, but a slightly different situation always brings me back to the same coal pit, without even a hint of the downfall. And that is the beauty of nature, and why you and I, have to strive constantly to work towards training the mind to understand that fooling yourself, even for your own good, is dangerous.

But, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger, eventually. And that is an axiom I do believe in strongly. And so we move on …

PS: I wanted to ask ‘Is common sense, common’ but considering that it is more of a cliche, I settled for the above title.

Past few years, I’ve changed my outlook towards life or rather refined would be a better way to put it and sitting alone, contemplating and meditating on how far I’ve come, still puzzles me. I want to say so many things, put forth ideas that could be useful to others but part of me does not feel like solidifying it in words. Unconsciously, the writer’s coma that I’ve been trying to wake up from has also been affecting my work and the vigor, passion seems to have fizzled a little, it seems. Now that I understand quite well what I do, it does not hold my interest as it once did. Bigger challenges await in future for sure but task unfinished grows from monotony.

Nevertheless, I’m trying to wiggle my big toe, the crud caught up in my mind, blocking my thought flow, to get going a new lease on life and realize the original priorities, to finish what I started. Abstract but clear, visible is a new beginning and an upcoming end of an old chapter.

I hope in another 4 months to finish the work and get my head around my plan for the future… Or maybe just a month of good sleep might clear my head enough to stop all this rambling.

Couple of days back, I had a panic attack. It was one of those days when nothing really goes your way, and you get frustrated at every little thing, driving you nuts, without a moment’s peace. I know, you’ve been there. This time, it was my wallet that took me to the edge. I just couldn’t find it. Its not like I completely did not remember what happened last time I used it but I remembered every time I had to use cash/card the past few days, but just couldn’t exactly place when I would have misplaced it. Of course, I went online to check my cards and there were no new charges on it. That was a relief and I eventually did find it, where it was supposed to be, albeit hidden from cursory looks.

Anyway, besides that, I started thinking whether someone would actually return the wallet back to me, if I had accidentally left it in a restaurant or a bar. I mean, if someone really had access to two credit cards, and a little cash, how honest a man/woman would you have to be to return it to the owner ? I know I would, because I spend quite a bit of time, unfortunately, looking introspectively at myself, setting rules to live by and ideals to follow through. But generally, it does raise the question on how honest people really are ?

I know quite a few people (friends and acquaintances) who would’ve called me to return the wallet but maybe my views are skewed.. I wonder what’s the probability that some completely random person would do it, considering that the economy is going down the crapper, people getting laid off, and poverty levels rising.

I believe that every person is capable of doing the socially acceptable, most moral and immoral acts, all the same, given the circumstance but would I be too naive to believe that we are capable of compassion and honesty even under dire situations ? I hope not, because that reflects on how far we’ve actually evolved.

If you were patient enough to read through this, do share your thoughts…

Exactly 15 more days left. I am feeling my guts churning out weird sounds and in queer ways. I am really scared about my qualifier exam. I guess, i am scared and excited, both at the same time. I don’t remember the last time i was this anxious to write an exam. Definitely not in REC or any of the other sem exams here. hmm. Maybe the IIT qualifiers after high school did come close. Anyway, this one is going to be different, i am sure and can’t wait to hit it head on.

Now officially, This is WAR.