Walking with my injured leg,
Limping up and down steps cold,
I keep reciting to myself:
Down with the bad and Up with the good.
Facts of life, reassured.

I have been training quite hard the past few months, on my quest to push myself beyond the limitations I had for myself. Believe me, I don’t set my limits that easily and the past 6 races have pushed them recursively, as I thought would the next two. Unfortunately, my pickup soccer routine has gotten in the way of reaching there.

Last Wednesday, while playing a friendly, I fucked up my knee. Needless to say, I am very disappointed. Unfortunate, true. Inevitable, probably yes. Considering the amount of things I was trying to do simultaneously, I am happy it took this long to bring me down.

Now, my knee is swollen up the size of a football, I cant run my Austin marathon and can’t play soccer for at least 2 more months. Adding this on top of losing all my past data (6 years worth of research), it just makes this new year as one to be remembered. OR one to be despised… Let’s just hope that the rest of the year will make up for all this bad spin on the year…

I was waiting for a train, a normal day and I noticed that a kid, barely 4 years old, was trying so hard to get along with his brother and his friend. You could tell that he was not comfortable running as fast as he did or moving sideways like his brother could but it is the perseverance to keep up and to stick with the group that puzzled me. There is absolutely nothing new here. This is everyday scenario. But what is intriguing is that when we (all of us) were kids, the only thought that runs through our mind is to be part of the group, the popular, the happening click but as we get older, each of us yearn to create an identity for ourselves, distancing from the cliche, from the regular, trying so hard to be different.

Is this what you call maturity ? Is this the misconception that prevails ? If the intuitive thinking of kids was unblemished, would this not be its opposite ? Confusing yes, but life without questions is not worth living. And so we continue, searching …

All good things come to those who wait … Another way of saying, patience is a virtue.

Not often you find yourself in a deluge of things to do. Even if it is something you love doing. In this case, running till my legs feel numb and my mind can no longer contain the pain emanating through my body. Hopefully, it is my silver bullet that will bring me back to shape that I’ve been yearning for so long.

So anyway, my schedule for this crazy upcoming year goes like this:

September 12, 2010: Chicago Half Marathon
October 10, 2010: Chicago Full Marathon
October 30, 2010: Chicago Monster Half Marathon (A costumed fun run ?!)
November 14, 2010: Sears tower climb (103 floors!)
February 20, 2011: Austin Marathon
May 01, 2011: Big Sur international Marathon

And that should conclude my running spree for the next 2 years. I only hope that the training and my passion for my runs continue long enough to keep my body in shape and injury-free. Time will tell but like all things I do, my obsession has again got the better of me …

When I started this blog/site, I intended it to be a lot more than just personal updates. Of course, constraints on time have reduced me to doing just the opposite. And so to keep myself and my infrequent readers in the same page, I give you yet another personal update and a rant. I promise you that this will be the last in a series that have been unavoidable.

The last few weeks have gone by so fast and thinking back, I can see why. Lot of good things have happened the past month. I have officially graduated, have made progress on at least 2 journal and a conference paper and also successfully moved to Chicago without any major glitches. And that is leaving out all the juicy gory details leading to it. Time has lost its sense these days and I seem to be dreaming while I’m awake and sleeping when I’m not supposed to. Few more days of such revelry left before I start my job officially. And the impending urgency to get a car and the necessary paper work that goes with it only hastens the need for a damn license.

Enough thoughts forebearing, future unseen
Sneaks up and binds unsuspected.
In plain view the answer to my riddles,
Wilfully I keep searching incessantly.
And a simplical surd evolves. Just like that.

I casually reloaded by mail only to find a danger sign at the top of my webpage. First thought, do I have a virus ? Took me couple of seconds to realize that Google is very sensitive about its security and hence the icon.

A little too drastic I thought, but may be that is what’s necessary to prevent people shooting themselves in the foot and to keep snoopers at bay. Here’s a snapshot of the ominous gmail 🙂

Amongst many weaknesses in my short life, my obsession in music is still unsurpassed. I’d give up everything in my mind except the music because that is the only good thing that keeps me sane during the oddities and the twists that life throws at me. Good music elates, excites and brings out the best of moods in me. And I unwittingly do fall in love with the musician responsible for the beautiful feeling. The infactuation is even more appealing when the creator is pretty too.

That is just intense and heavenly. Makes me want to learn piano more than ever. Comes very close to my love for guitar and Satriani. May be, when I start working in Chicago, I’ll have enough time and resource to learn both properly… And again, time decides. What an endless cycle …

Yes. I am candid. And I feel obligated to post so that whoever feels desperate to know me, can understand. I figure, someone should…

Anyway, life has thrown me quite a few bumps along the past years but finally, its about time I reached my final destination. And a PhD just about defines it. Numerous has been the toil and endless the all-nighters but the prize, the reward is fulfilling. And its within a month’s grasp. On August 13th, I shall graduate officially with a PhD in Nuclear engineering with a job offer in hand. More on that later though.

I spent close to 3 months at home and it is hard to imagine a more appropriate time for that break. Am pretty sure that it will be hard to come by once I start my professional career but travel I hope will still drive me to take my mind off the beauty of math.

Lots more to say but it’ll just be wasted space… Maybe when I’m old enough, and can remember the good things, I might jot them down…

Another pebble in the river,
Unearthed in sands of time,
I feel fulfilled, satisfied when drunk
among friends who barely understand but withstand.

This psyche communicates better in code
than in a language foretold.
It is maybe the recursion, the patterns
that fit like solutions to a maze.

I stumble and bumble my way across,
stepping on foots of people misunderstood;
Numbers, alone, stay above, beyond criticism,
You get it or you just dont.

Amadeus, Pi, Matrix, Fight club, Inception,
Movies of infinite precision;
What I perceive, no one else does;
Childish yes but vast the possibility.

I have no regrets. I am what I am.
Folly is ye to interpret.